It’s time to let go of the anger and hate. It’s time to move through the fear. It’s even time to celebrate. Most of all, it’s time to live a life of happiness. It’s time to let go of the what could have been’s, the should’s, the would’s, the could’s and realize that this is exactly where you are, where you were meant to be and through all the pain can emerge beauty (if you let it).

Heal After Divorce

It serves no one, least of all you, to hold on to grudges. To feel all of this hate for someone who chose not to see you, or didn’t hear you, or couldn’t feel you, or didn’t cherish you, for whatever reasons that may be. Their reasons are about them, but the hurt and pain you harbor is about you.

As you hold onto the fear and hate, you are refusing to see, hear, feel and cherish yourself. You become the person who has done you wrong, who has cheated on you, who has torn you down as that is what you are now doing to yourself. It is time to move on.

It is time to stop allowing others to treat you this way. More importantly, it is time to stop allowing yourself to get in your own way, allowing yourself to be your worst enemy, allowing yourself to say things about who you are that your worst enemy would not say to you.

So let’s take this time now to come face to face with who you are.

To know that you will not beg someone to be with you when they are truly unable to, when they truly don’t appreciate who you are and what you have to offer. But in order to do that, you need to start stepping up to your own plate, standing up for yourself, for your life, for the happiness that you deserve. Yes, you deserve happiness. You deserve to be loved.

It is time you start believing in yourself again and not looking to revel in your hurts and your pains from past glories, from past mistakes, from past judgements and perceptions others make that you have come to believe and made your own.

It is time you forgive yourself for the mistakes that you have made instead of looking to deflect by blaming others, by holding onto the anger and the hate, the hurt and the pain, the guilt and the rage. You only hurt yourself that way. It’s time to stop hurting and start loving again….loving you, loving yourself.

For some it will be a time to get reacquainted with who you used to be, for others it will be a new feeling of learning to love for the first time. Learning to love yourself, learning to love your children all over again, learning to love the world around you, the streets you walk on, the air you breathe, all the sights you see.

Learning to love differently. Learning to open yourself up, possibly for the first time so you can actually feel, so you can actually heal, and so you can find the wonder that your life has to offer.

It is time teach others how to treat you, how to truly love you, to consciously understand how to teach others what you will put up with and what you need. To learn to trust enough to tell them everything that is in your mind, everything that is in your heart, everything that is in your soul, everything that makes you who you are. Learning to trust yourself is to be vulnerable in those moments and know when it is time to move on, as you are clear with what you will accept and what you will quickly walk away from, not through fear or sadness but just through knowing who you truly are and what you truly deserve. Knowing you are truly loved, knowing you are truly deserving, knowing that you are perfectly imperfect and loving that. Not needing to be with anyone unless they see and accept your perfect imperfection.

Only through loving yourself can you truly open yourself up enough to love others. If to love others means to love others unconditionally, then to love ourselves means to love ourselves unconditionally.

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It’s the key to keeping your children laughing, smiling and thriving.

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