As I try to let go of all my thoughts and feelings about this journey – I am not a patient person and really just want to get to the other side of this journey …but what would be the fun in that? Right? As impatient as I am and as difficult as this has been, I am so grateful for all I have learned and even more grateful for the blessings that have blossomed as I have traveled down this road.
I have made the commitment to myself that I will not beat myself up in the difficult times as I know I do not have to have anything figured out. I will leave that up to Universe/Spirit/Soul (whatever you want to call it really).
I also relinquish the need to be perfect. This need for perfection that has held me back from being all that I can be in the past. That has kept me surrounded by fear, worrying that I have not been enough, that I will never be enough; worrying that I will be wrong or not liked. This I let go of. I am me and am learning how to make peace with that and learning what that truly means.
Perfect is not makeup or hairdo’s or looking polished or putting up a good front. That is not the “me” I want you to see because it doesn’t exist. I do not want you to believe something that is not real. I don’t want you to believe that this journey is all about bliss. It is not. It is painful but it is also beautiful and healing and happy. I want you to see all of these different parts of me and all of the different parts of this journey so that you can recognize yourself and empower yourself to be all that you can be. So that as you embark and travel through your own journey, you know that you are not alone. You know where to find your guide map. You know that you can always ask your pressing questions. You know that you are loved.
In this journey I am learning how to see that perfection doesn’t exist. I stop fighting against that these days and I allow it to just be.
Sometimes I do really well and feel as if I am on top of the world; and sometimes I fall from grace; which is okay, as I am a living breathing soul inside a human being body who is constantly learning and growing. And if I was always doing well it would mean that I was not acknowledging or accepting the growth opportunities that are placed on my path.
Keep that in mind. Perfect does not exist. Growing does. And it can get messy at times. Which is perfect.